Rating Thanksgiving Foods

Every family has their own Thanksgiving traditions, and this year many of them can’t be done. Some might try to fight for some resemblance of normalcy, by FaceTiming grandma, texting cousins, or Instagramming your Thanksgiving plate-like always, this Thanksgiving just isn’t the same. I think we all need to laugh a little today, so I hope my ratings bring a smile to your face.


Turkey: 8/10

Yeah I mean it’s turkey, very traditional and basic. It’s really only good if you drown it in gravy. -2 because so many people suck at cooking a turkey and it winds up tasting like cardboard. I hope your turkey tastes like actual food this year.



Pumpkin Pie: 9/10

Now we’re talking! Pumpkin pie is GREAT and anyone who says otherwise obviously has never tasted a good pumpkin pie. And whipped cream doesn’t make it better, it’s great by itself. -1 point because it bothers me that you just buy the pumpkin goo in a can.


Apple Pie: 10/10

I mean come on. It’s apple pie. It obviously gets a 10


Pecan Pie: 7/10

I personally like pecan pie, it’s sweet and crunchy and good by itself. However, I will admit it’s super complicated to make. Also, it’s just goo with pecans on it, which understandably freaks some people out.


Stuffing: 6/10

It just confuses me. There are too many ingredients and textures- and how do you even make it???? Overall delicious but I think I’m scared of it…



Green Bean Casserole: 10/10

YES. GOD TIER. MY FAVORITE THANKSGIVING FOOD. It’s easy to make, it’s delicious, and it’s only 3 ingredients. I would eat it for every meal if I could.


Ham: 9/10

If your family is like mine, you have some turkey haters every year. So we just buy a ham and make both. It’s pretty easy to make. It’s hard to mess up a ham.



Mashed potatoes: 10/10

No matter how you make them, mashed potatoes are perfect. Unless you’re one of those people who leaves bits of skin in it, then you’re -1/10 because that’s gross.


Sweet potatoes: 10/10

It’s delicious and anyone who doesn’t like it must hate dessert. 12/10 if you put marshmallows on it.


Mac and cheese: 9/10

I’ve never had Mac and cheese on Thanksgiving but I think it would be wonderful. There’s a lot of options for this, you can add bacon and other toppings. -1 because I’ve seen some people mess up Mac and cheese pretty bad.


Cornbread: 5/10

Yeah, it’s good. There’s really not much to say.



Cranberry sauce: 1/10

No. It’s bad every way you make it. I hate the jello in a can. I hate the chunky homemade sauce. It’s awful. Only grandmas like it and you pretend to so she’ll be happy. I still give it a point because Ocean Spray made really funny ads for their can of jello this year.