This is not my piece, I am just publishing it, all credit goes to the author Taylor Scramlin.

When I was 8 years old, I was scared to go to the bathroom during school. I would hold it in until I was physically in pain, even if I was feeling sick. When I couldn’t hold it any longer, I’d shake or even cry when I was in the bathroom, and run out and back to class as soon as I finished. An 8 year old shouldn’t be scared to go to the bathroom.

This fear stemmed from learning about the shooting of Sandy Hook Elementary School. My parents didn’t want to tell me, as I was a kid who avidly loved going to school. They didn’t want to change that. I remember this moment vividly, my mom was in tears at her computer, my dad standing behind her looking lifeless. I didn’t understand the impact, how well can an 8 year old understand the hard truth of death? I sat there, nodding my head. Parents shouldn’t have to tell their children about kids their age getting killed at school.

The only reason they did tell me was because they wanted me to know before my third grade teacher had to talk about safety procedures. She tried to keep as much of the real life details out as possible. Instead of learning about multiplication, we spent the first half of the school day learning how to barricade the doors by turning tables onto their side. Instead of learning how times tables work, we learned where the scissors were and that it was okay to throw them at a “bad guy with a weapon”, because it meant we were protecting ourselves. A third grade teacher shouldn’t have to teach little kids how to protect their lives.

Additionally, my third grade teacher talked about the lockdown procedure. She talked about how if you’re in the hallway, run to the closest classroom. How if you’re in the office, stay there. And then, she went to talk about what to do when you’re in the bathroom. She mentioned how if you hear there’s a lockdown and someone is outside the bathroom door, stand on the toilet and be silent. If the coast is clear, bolt to the nearest classroom. As a child, the thought of being stuck in the bathroom scared me, so much to the point where I was scared to even go to the bathroom. What if something happens when I’m there? What if I get stuck? What if a man with a gun comes in and I’m just trying to do my business? An 8 year old shouldn’t be this scared to go to the bathroom.

Recently, I’ve been feeling the same way. I was at school when I heard about the shooting of Oxford High School. At first, I wasn’t even phased. Not many people were, we live in a country and time period where school shootings seem to feel almost “normal”. So normal that less than two weeks prior, my school had to have extra law enforcement on campus do to threats.

At school on Wednesday, everything felt wrong. When we were talking about the events at Oxford, teachers were tearing up. One teacher explained how her family begged her not to go into school; they were worried that what happened in Oxford would set off a chain reaction at my school. Teachers shouldn’t have to go to school after watching their family beg them not to go.

While teachers talked, students looked lifeless. We knew those kids, whether it was through family, mutual friends, even teammates. It feels like the shooting at Oxford happened in our backyard. With the amount of threats our school gets, making jokes about them used to not feel like a big deal. In reality, as a student body we were desensitizing the harsh reality our neighboring school has faced. Also, we were covering up the fact that the issues we joked about are real issues. You could see this in the way students acted at school. It’s as though everyone lost a bit of themselves. I realized then what my parents felt like back in 2012.

My parents were feeling heartbroken for the Sandy Hook parents. My parents dropped me off at school saying “goodbye, I love you” and it wasn’t their last. They got to see their daughter when she got home. They got to hear about her learning how to swing on the monkey bars. Sandy Hook parents didn’t get that. Those parents said their final goodbyes to their children when they dropped them off for school. If those parents got to see their kids, they’d hear stories about them trying to save their lives. Parents shouldn’t have to worry that their goodbyes to their children before school may be their last.

Over half of my school’s student body was too scared to go to school on Thursday. Wednesday night, rumors were spreading on social media like crazy. Jokes and rumors were spreading about shooting as many schools as possible in the Metro Detroit area, calling it “hit week”. I was one of the many who stayed at home. I couldn’t stop shaking after reading the social media posts. A high school student shouldn’t be to anxious to go to school, thinking that if they go they might never come home.

An 8 year old shouldn’t be scared to go to the bathroom, and a high school student shouldn’t be too anxious about school safety to the point where they stay home. Parents shouldn’t have to tell their children that in other schools around the country, kids their age are getting killed. Parents shouldn’t have to even think about the fact that when they say goodbye to their kids as they leave for school, that it might be the last. Teachers shouldn’t have to teach little kids how to protect themselves, and they shouldn’t have to walk into their classroom after hearing their loved ones beg them not to go due to threats. However, this is the harsh and terrifying reality of the United States School System.