Failing at Reviewing Minecraft Mobs


In the game of Minecraft there are over 50 different mobs, so we have decided to rank the top ten best mobs and the top ten worst mobs. Let’s get into it.  

First you will see the top ten best mobs. These are the superior mobs of the game, the best of the best. These mobs deserve to be treated like royalty.   

  1. Enderman- They are low-key attractive, Edgy, introverted, and goth; My type of guy.  
  2. Bees- bees are fantastic, but not hot or attractive like enderman. Bees are sweet like honey. The only downside to them is that they get angry very easily. Not pog 
  3. Wolfs/Dog- they are great company for when your ex leaves you for your best friend because you are a 3/10 and they are a 7/10. 
  4. Pigs- pigs are great you can ride them, and they drop pork chops, which are the superior meat of the game.  Downside, they steal your carrots. Rip that carrot ayyy.  
  5. Baby Piglins- They are small, and they are very easy to illegally adopt. They don’t do any harm and they are adorable. They are the only children that aren’t annoying.  
  6. Parrots- Parrots are fun mobs because they dance like middle schoolers at their first school dance.  They also can imitate sounds of nearby hostile mob which is swag.  
  7. Villager- There are some good trades like 10 potatos for 5 emeralds. It is basically like you are scamming natives out of everything they own. 
  8. Mooshroom- It is a cow that is red, and it grows mushrooms on it’s back. There is something truly amazing about a red cow with mushrooms on it’s back. 
  9. Shulker- Shulkers might just be one of the most useful mobs in the entire game. They drop shulker shells which can be used to make shulker boxes, which are basically backpacks. Those are very useful. 
  10. Fox- The fox is just a nice pet. They don’t attack you, but they also run away from you. They do jump in lava to but other than that they make great pets. 

Honorable mentions 

Creepers- Not much to say other than the fact that they are the most iconic mob in the game.  

Llama- Like the fox they make great pets, the only downside is that they spit at you. But hey, you can work around it. 

Those are the top ten best mobs in the game Minecraft. They are ranked best to worst and hopefully you see why those are clearly the best mobs in the game. 




These are the terrors of Minecraft. In the category, the least worst shall be first and the truly terrible shall be last.  

  1. Squid – The squid in Minecraft is too mentally inclined to actual process how to live. The mob, for some odd reason, seems to get out of the water that they spawned in, which would have them suffocate. 
  2. Witch – The mob is essentially a villager but uglier. I am not sure how it managed to achieve this as villagers were already ugly, but my theory is that it used potions to make itself look less unattractive. However, like plastic surgery at times, the attempt failed horribly. 
  3. Pillager – This atrocity is the equivalent of the high school assailant. They seem to make insecure me about my lack of acquaintances as the mob usually appears in packs. Although they might be just coworkers, that’s closer to friendship than I have achieved. 
  4. Ghast – The thing reminds of the ex-girlfriend I never had before as the ghast screams. When I mean scream, I do not mean a simple gasp or shout. No, what I mean is that the ghast goes into mania like a thunderstorm of pure rage because you did not say their outfit was cute.   
  5. Evoker – They remind me of old men that say your generation ruined the economy. However, Evokers summoned tiny demons that were the ones that caused the debasement of our currency. 
  6. Vex – The aforementioned thing that debased our currency while also being a real jerk. These things are the equivalent of your annoying five-year-old cousin that never left you alone.  
  7. Vindicator – Simply put, these things hurt more anything your ex-girlfriend or disappointed parents would say or do to you. Their axe is even emotionally sharper than a failed math test.  
  8. Wandering Traders – This beast of greed is a rather interesting thing. It doesn’t hurt you like the rest of these clowns I have mentioned previously, but it does offend. They offend via their terrible prices that feel like those merchants that plague any tourist attraction like the pyramids of Egypt. 
  9. Baby Zombies – Their greatest crime is not that they are children, which is terrible on its own. No, their greatest offense is that they are faster than a school district changing their COVID-19 policies. I can’t even see them; then, I die to them because they’re vermin in the sewers. 
  10. The Phantom – These things are just terrible, repulsive, and somehow more vexing than vex. They are like pigeons that peck at you for existing. Most egregiously, they only come out when you don’t sleep in the game. That is completely needless as the player already does that because a core mechanic of the game is that monsters come out at night; it’s like insult to injury.  

Honorable mention: The bat as it is just a squeaking pest that spooks me every time I mine.   


Overall, Minecraft contains fantastic mobs that fill this world with delight. The best mobs befriend and fill you with great memories and emotions that you should get in real life; alas, that is not the case. However, there are disturbing abominations to society that make me puke and vomit inside. These abominations are stupidly designed and make me hate society even more. More specifically, I hate that stupid squid. Even if they are bad or good, they make us feel real emotions like happiness or eternal pain, which gives them all a quality of everlasting.