I have only left my house once in the span of almost three weeks and let me tell you, it’s been tough. I considered myself a huge introvert when all this started so I was like Sick! I don’t have to talk to anyone for a month! but now that I have stared at the ceiling enough that I’ve memorized every speck of dust and my cat thoroughly hates my guts, I’m over it. Here’s how I’ve been surviving the days:

Step One: Wake up between 2:00-4:00 P.M.

I don’t know about you guys, but my sleep schedule is beyond messed up. I used to be asleep by 11 but now-a-days it’s more like 5 A.M. If you think that’s bad, wait, there’s more! I also take a lil’ nappie nap around 6 because somehow, 11 hours of sleep isn’t enough.

Step Two: Make Chef Boyardee ravioli and mindlessly scroll through Twitter over and over until my head hurts from staring at the phone screen.

I don’t want to talk about this one. I hate it here.

Step Three: Do something – anything – productive so my brain doesn’t shrivel up and disintegrate.

At this point I usually play video games, clean, paint, or read. Or if none of that is appealing, staring at the wall really isn’t that bad once you get used to it. Also, pro-tip, if you hang cool stuff up on the wall it adds some flavour. 

I swear I’m not going crazy.

Step Four: Dance to 80’s rock in the shower until all the hot water in the house is used up and my parents are disappointed. 

People my age always sleep on the 80s. Talking Heads, Pink Floyd, Ramones, The Cure. The list goes on. Those dudes made some sick music. Anyway, my showers are usually at least 30 minutes now. And before anyone asks, I don’t think the water bill is that high. How much does water even cost? I should probably know these things.

Step Five: Get ready for bed. And when I say bed, I mean watching TV in my room for 7 hours straight. 

Me and my two braincells have been binge watching Big Time Rush for the past week. I don’t know why, but it’s the only show that interests me right now. I even tried watching that tiger dude documentary on Netflix that everyone’s talking about, but I couldn’t pay enough attention to it. I always end up going right back to good ol’ Big Time Rush (no matter how fantastically terrible it is). Also, Kendall is my favourite member if anyone wanted to know.

Step Six: Go to sleep and do it all over again the next day.

Can’t get any better than this, right? I am at the top of my game right now, guys. Peak performance, if you will. My brain totally isn’t melting and I am having a GREAT time.