Sebastian and I have spent some time looking at houses we could buy since we are currently expecting. We found a beautiful, black brick, Victorian style house that we wanted to look at. I can already imagine the crinkling of leaves beneath my feet from the large trees around the yard. Our real estate agent Michael seemed pleased with our next decision, oddly happy. I assume that maybe spending a year looking at houses that we weren’t interested in really put off our poor real estate agent and the thought of Sebastian and I finally picking one of our own really excited him.

It was showing day and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve been thinking about this house nonstop. Because of it, I got three hours of sleep at most. During my fitful sleep, I dreamt of others living in the house, miserable. At the time, I was overly optimistic, blind to the truth. I couldn’t help but think, this house pushed others away just so I could live in it. It was as though something about it was calling my name.

Before we walk in I hear howling.

“What’s that sound?” I ask.

“Howling from wolves. Wolves make different sounds depending on what they want, and these ones sound like they are trying to find their kin.” Michael says.

Once we walk in, we are met with a large spiral staircase with a luscious white rug covering the wood. It’s beautiful with details of dark red splatters, making it so much more intricate. It was something a bit different in a Victorian house. Michael shows us around a bit more and the kitchen is the biggest we have seen yet. There is a dark gray island in the middle of the kitchen. The cupboards are painted black. On one side, the gas stove had even more storage space beneath it, while on the other side of the kitchen, the sink had the same dark style. This was nothing like we’ve seen before. The look on Sebastian’s face made me relieved. He liked it too. As we went on, the house had big rooms and similar dark styles with pops of red here and there. When we got to the office, Michael was especially excited. This room probably won a lot of people over with the satin black couches with red accent pillows and black ombre curtains. In the center, there was a huge dark brown desk, and the walls were lined with old books in bookshelves and one particular dresser that seemed like an older piece of furniture compared to the rest. The office looked like a library, and Sebastian was blown away. He may work for a phone company, but this room would make him feel like a scholar, and I bet he liked that idea too. On top of the dresser was a gothic looking doll that wasn’t in the pictures we saw online.

“Hey Michael, this doll wasn’t shown in the pictures. Is there a reason for it?”

“I took down the doll. I thought it’d steer people away from wanting to look at the house considering the effect it has on it. I put it back up on showing days to explain the history behind it. This house was built by a father and his son. When they finished, the mother crafted this doll for their daughter as a housewarming gift. The mother owned her own private toy company in which she exclusively created dolls. Other homeowners after that family left it there as it pertains to significant historical value.”

The doll has the aura of a little girl and I liked the energy it brought into the room, it was ominous. Maybe we could let our baby girl play with it when she’s older.

I straighten my posture. “What happened to the first family?” I asked.

“The mother killed her husband and then her son. Her daughter committed suicide by hanging in the backyard not long after. They say the husband attempted to poison the wife after she discovered the affair he had with their nanny.”

This house just got a little more interesting. Out of respect for the tragedy the first family experienced, I yearned to keep the tradition going, so that’s what I was going to do.

After a few days of moving boxes of kitchen appliances, clothes, and furniture, we spent several more putting everything away. The house was almost complete with the exception of an empty refrigerator, which reminded me of the huge shopping trip I was going to need to get done tomorrow. The house felt like home immediately, and I knew from that moment on we made the right decision.

While my husband was adjusting to his new office I decided to make dinner. A starting appetizer with buttered baguette and a dollop of caviar on top; the main dish consisting of wagyu beef with sauteed mushrooms and seasoned green beans; and dessert being a homemade apple crumble. Being a chef had its perks, and cooking expensive dinners and doing it well was one of them. In a sultry house like this, a glass of red wine to complete our little at-home dinner date was only necessary, except I was resigned to drinking black tea. After we have our baby, I am throwing myself a wine night and getting wine drunk. I deserve that.

“Sebastian, come eat dinner, I made your favorite dessert!”

I have been waiting on him for 10 minutes as I insisted on waiting to eat until he showed up, but he never did. Bringing along my tea, I go to see what’s holding him back.

“A little obsessive over that office are we?” I asked, leaning on the doorframe.

He looks at me with confusion written all over his face. “Is everything okay? I called you to tell you dinner was ready but you never came down.” I was a bit worried, considering his expression seemed nothing short of fearful. Last time I saw a look like this on his face was when I served him a filet mignon and told him it was human liver with a grin. His gullibleness made him throw up, but I already apologized for that. Does my cooking scare him that much? I was only kidding, I promised I wouldn’t do anything like that again. I even declared that would be the meanest thing I would do to him.

“Look, if it’s about that time I lied and said you were eating a human liver, I said I was sorry.”

Sebastian looks at me like I’m the dumbest person to walk this Earth. “Vanessa, I already accepted your apology but it’s that doll, I don’t like it. Can we get rid of it?”

Now I looked at him like he was the dumbest person to walk this Earth. “You get this entire office, and I left that doll there because I liked it and our daughter could grow up with it. It’s only fair if you let me have this one thing.” I was a bit annoyed. He wanted to get rid of something just because he didn’t find any interest in it? That’s not fair.

“Fine. You make a fair point,” he rolled his eyes. “But look at what I found in the dresser.”

When Sebastian opened the dresser I was stunned. It had boxes of…poison? The symbol on the boxes seemed to indicate they were. I immediately called Michael.

“Hey Michael, I’m sorry for calling so late, but Sebastian found what I think is poison in the dresser at the office. Do you know why that’s there?”

“Oh, um, don’t mind that. It’s-it’s just rat poison. The house is in the middle of nowhere so… seeing rats should be expected. I put it there for you to use to help ease the problem. I hope you don’t mind.”

Michael sounded a bit off on the phone, I think he was a bit nervous we were going to change our mind on the house. Which we weren’t, it was too late. Sebastian, however, had a look on his face that told me he was still a bit concerned. I insisted everything was okay and told him to just forget about it and eat dinner.

As we ate dinner we discussed future plans for our daughter, how we could design the nursery, and even started talking about names. I’ve always dreamed about being a mother, I loved kids, and the thought of teaching them the ways of the world made me so excited. Thinking about the kind of mother I would be made me giddy and I wanted nothing but the best for our family.

When we finished dinner I realized I left my tea in the office. I excused myself and went to get it. When I got there I noticed that the doll was a little out of place, like it was slumping. I brushed it off and took this as an opportunity to really look at the doll. She had matte porcelain skin, long thick eyelashes, silky black hair, and her dress was made from black lace with some sequin on the sleeves. This was the most beautiful doll I have ever seen and I can’t help but wonder if the daughter ever gave her a name. I took it upon myself to do so. Charlotte. I liked that name, and I decided that was going to be the name of the doll. I decided to quickly explore the office, starting with the giant desk. When I opened one of the drawers it was completely empty, but there was a latch on the bottom. I open the latch and find a small note. I opened it up and it only had two words written on it.

SHE’S EVIL.

I immediately locked eyes with the doll and just happened to notice the sinister smile on her face. Has she always had that look? Maybe we should get rid of the doll…

Realistically, this note was probably talking about the mother who basically killed her whole family and yet I decided to look at the doll sitting on top of a dresser. I quickly stuff the note in my pocket and leave the office.

Drinking my tea, it tasted a bit off and it was bitter. I have been a bit lenient on the sugar since we have a baby on board. I need to add more sugar. I noticed the dining room table was cleaned up with Sebastian seated upon the couch. There were candles around a bouquet of roses that I didn’t even know he had. He rose up from the couch and gave them to me with a peck on the cheek.

“You are bringing our daughter into this world and after everything we have been through, you deserve some rest.” Yeah, it’s no wonder I’m having his baby.

After finishing my tea, I picked up Sebastian’s empty wine glass and put it in the sink. I lay down and decide to watch Annabelle, my favorite movie. Sebastian grabbed my legs and put my feet on his lap, beginning to massage them.

About 30 minutes later, Sebastian falls asleep on the couch. But I feel something brewing inside of me. It’s not a pleasant feeling. Jealousy? Foolishness? Anger? Hatred? I don’t know what it was, but what I do know is that I had a burning rage to kill anything closest to me. It was completely out of my control. I grab a carving knife from the kitchen and run over to Sebastian. There wasn’t much I could do. My mind went blank and before my senses could return to me, I brought Hell on Sebastian’s body. We lived in the middle of nowhere, who was going to save him? One thing I will acknowledge about him is his will to live, it was obvious he did not want to die as I slowly carved his life away. I take a look at my finished product. Sebastian was completely soulless. The blood painted his body. His tan skin wasn’t even noticeable at this point. The hole in his chest. The heart in my hand. His empty eye sockets. My mind was beginning to return to me. I look at Sebastian for the last time and choke out a gut wrenching scream followed by a trail of tears. I know what I did, but I don’t know why. I had no reason to do any of the things I did. So why? Why? I go outside. I can’t stand another minute in this house.

The backyard is beautiful, but I can’t enjoy it the way I want to. I walk and walk because I need to get as far away from the house as possible. I’m lost in my thoughts. We were having a baby and I did the worst imaginable thing one can do to their own family. We had a great life, I won’t deny that. But I ruined it all by something I couldn’t even control. What was the cause of my urge? Was that type of anger always inside of me and it just somehow exploded into reality? I loved Sebastian, I swear I did. In the midst of my despair, I step off a cliff obscured by dense foliage. I fall with pain. I fall with grief. I fall with understanding. This may have been accidental, but I’m glad it happened. I deserve worse, I think to myself, until I realize the worst is yet to come: I’m falling off a cliff – I and my unborn baby are going to die. I get what I deserve. I wish I could reunite with Sebastian and our baby girl in Heaven. Maybe apologize and explain that things were just out of my control. But I won’t, because I can’t.

My final thought, being thankful that I didn’t take out my urge on our daughter, with Sebastian watching in horror.