Healed by the Silence

Melanie Sejnowski, Writer

Anger shook her body. Amanda could not start to believe the words her mother said. Tears spilled out of her eyes as she crossed her arms, rage filled her body. 

“I see so much of myself in you,” she said quietly. “It frightens me.” Her mother rose from the dark leather couch. 

“Your father would be so disappointed in you, Amanda Wright.” Her mother screamed. Amanda froze. 

“I wish it was you that left and not dad!” Amandas fists clenched, she missed her dad so dearly. Ever since he left, she was a wreck. 

“Go to your room.” Her mother’s voice got shaky, and tears filled her eyes. Her lips quivered, the room got silent, and the two girls stood at different ends of the room. Angry and completely still Amanda stood there protesting. 

“NOW!” Her mother screamed. 

Chills slid down Amandas spine as her mother’s voice covered the room in her anger and disgust. She marched down the hallway, gripping her bedroom door she slammed it shut. Tears fell on the floor, living with her mom made her so sad all the time. All she could do this past week was cry and find things to argue about with her mother. She slowly slid her back down her bedroom door, burying her head in her knees and wrapping her arms around them. 

“Why?” She whispered to herself 

“Why, why, why?” Her throat dried up as she pleaded. 

 Across the room hung a picture which showed Amanda, her mother, brother, and father. She stared at the picture before she rose from the floor walking towards it. All her eyes could look at was her father… 

She impulsively popped open the back of the frame and pulled out the family photo. She stared at it one last time before all the anger built up again, in a second the picture was in shreds. The feeling faded and she stared at the torn photo.  

“No… NO.” She fell to the floor putting the shredded photo together like a puzzle. Anger took over her and she felt empty failing to solve the puzzle of her broken family. Sobbing, Amanda rolled on the ground pleading for her life to be okay again, she had a close bond with her dad, now she had nobody. Her mom hated her guts, her brother was away at college, and her dad hasn’t called in years. She laid on her back repeating, “it’s all my fault, it’s all my fau-” She turned her head toward the buzzing phone and stood up walking towards her desk where her phone sat. Picking it up she read the name “Dad.” 

“Hello?” Amandas voice hid from the caller. 

“Amanda, it’s dad. Listen I know we haven’t spoken in a little bit, but I wanted to check in.” 

She tried to get all the words that she wanted to say out of her mouth about the fight, about the picture, about the last few weeks of hell. 

“Um, I’ve been okay. Me and mom had an argument, hasn’t been the best week…” her voice broke, and she felt a lump in her throat. She began to cry. 

“I know how your mother can get sometimes, I’m really sorry honey. Also, me and Kayla are expecting a baby.”  

Kayla knew about Amandas mom and how her and her dad always fought and when her dad met Kayla he stopped reaching out.  

“Congrats to the two of you, Dad it’s been great catching up but I have some work I need to get done. Thanks for calling me.”  

Her dad took a deep inhale, “Thank you sweetheart, I’m always here to talk, reach out if you need to talk.” 

Amanda hung up and threw her phone at her bedroom door. The sound of the glass shattering caused her mother to scream at the top of her lungs. She didn’t care, her dad called her to tell her how great his new girl is and how they’re starting a family and how he’s pretty much leaving behind his “old one.” 

She got up and ran for the door, opening it and darted toward her mother who continued to scream about how hurt she was by the remarks that were made earlier. She pulled her mother in close and hugged her tightly. The words stopped, the room was silent again, not the bad kind of silence, the kind of silence that made her cry. Her mother’s arms wrapped around Amandas back.  

“I’m so sorry mom, I’m sorry.”  

“I Know baby, I know. You’re okay, you’re safe. I promise.” Their tears fell in harmony and like that the war was over, a family that seemed to be broken was fixed, it wasn’t filled with the people it had before the fighting and endless I-hate-yous but it was fixed with those same people who screamed those words.